Books I read in 2019

Books I read in 2019:

1. Bad Blood by John Carreyrou

The book provides inside stories from people who were involved in Theranos, a once multibillion-dollar startup in Sillicon Valley. It is an exhilarating real-life thriller story. The book follows a timeline from the beginning to the end of the company, and stories from people who were involved with it. It is incredibly fascinating and scary how Elizabeth Holmes could fool various investors and partners into investing in Theranos and their blood testing device that never functioned properly. The book also describes how Elizabeth was running her company: watching employees’ every step, not only from when they checked in and out of the office but also what they typed on their computers, and taking personal revenge on those arguing and disagreeing with her points of view. Despite many red flags about Theranos, many investors and companies decided to look away, invested and partnered with the company (or Elizabeth) anyways due to ‘fear of being missed out’ in the startup world. It reminds me of a book I read earlier, “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman, about how many people, even the most sophisticated ones in the financial sector, make investments based on intuition instead of facts.

I wonder whether Elizabeth Holmes is a sociopath. We won’t know for sure. That is for psychologists to decide. It does seem like she truly believed in what she was doing and never saw any wrongdoings in her actions. We can surely credit her for her selling and convincing skills. I also recommend a documentary on HBO about Theranos for those who want a shorter and quicker overview of the story.

2. Never Split a Difference by Chris Voss

A book that I have read and put into practice. “Never Split a Difference” contains personal experience of Chris Voss during his earlier years as a hostage negotiator at FBI and later as an instructor at an MBA school. The book is easy to understand and follow, sometimes having humoristic thoughts from Chris himself about various negotiating situations he had encountered. What I like about this book is that its guidelines are practical and easily applicable to any real-life situation, from negotiating your salary to buying a car. It never mentions any impractical theoretical framework, like BATNA which I learned in an online course and found it hard to implement.

This book is one of my favorites that I will surely keep on my bookshelf, referring back and perhaps rereading it several times. A must have for those who want to boost their negotiation skills!

3. The Automatic Customer by John Warrillow

The book includes nine different subscription models one could apply to different customer segments as well as methods on how to build a subscription business. It is short, informative and concise. You can find your preferred subscription model and try to put it into practice. I’d recommend reading the book several times to grasp its key points. I’ll be rereading it again as well, probably for a few more times.

4. Good to Great by Jim Collins

Jim Collins and his research team scanned thousands of companies and picked out 11 companies that they defined as having transformed from being good to great. Three things in this book that caught my attention were:

• Level 5 Leaders: Jim Collins divides leadership into a scale of five, with five being the highest. A level-5 leader is someone who is driven to do what’s best for the company, who hires the right people and puts them into the right positions. Jim Collins referred several times in his book that “Get the right people on the bus, then figure out where to go.” Once you have the right people on board, you can create and shape a culture of discipline with strong work ethics and drive. A level-5 leader will also ensure that the company sustains even when the leader has stepped down or been replaced.
• Hedgehog Concept: The Hedgehog Concept contains three circles: 1. What you are deeply passionate about, 2. What you can be best in the world, 3. What drives your economic engine. Your core business should be in the center where these three circles intersect.
• Start a “stop-doing” list: A lot of us have a ‘to-do-list’: things we need to do and achieve. But not many think of “stop-doing” list: things we should stop doing altogether because they aren’t working and wasting our time. Great companies review and act on facts and data and stop doing unnecessary things no matter how painful or unpleasant.

Interesting thoughts: The book was written in 2001 and included Walgreens as a company that transformed from being good to being great. Walgreens had a partnership with Elizabeth Holmes at Theranos to provide blood testing services in their stores. Despite many red flags that were raised about Theranos, Walgreens pushed ahead with the project, hence ignoring their ‘stop-doing’ list and not acting on facts and data, no matter how unpleasant, due to the fear of being missed out.

5. Godt nok for de svina by Anita Krohn Traaseth

Anita is a former CEO of Innovation Norway and Managing Director of Hewlett-Packard Norway. In this book, written in Norwegian, Anita told about her way into a leadership role. She was open and honest about her story, from a childhood with a mother diagnosed with bipolar disorder, to being jobless and having to go to NAV (Norwegian social services) – the kinds of stories that one may not willingly share with others. She also emphasizes leadership with credibility and openness. Things Anita wrote that caught my attention:

1. Godt nok for de svina – translated into English as “good enough for the bastards”. This is Anita’s personal mantra which saved her from being a ‘good girl’ and a perfectionist, something that took me a long time to grow out of. In Vietnam, I was taught that you needed to be good at everything in order to earn your recognition. We’d go to school, learn 11 different subjects, from math, natural sciences to social sciences and arts, and need to excel at all of them if we wanted to have recognition and reward from our school, teachers, parents, and eventually a place at a prestigious school for further education. That thought was stuck with me throughout my bachelor and master studies. Instead of dedicating more time to what I found interesting and was passionate about, I tried to be good at everything, being that overachieving perfectionist. Only after a long time that I’d realize, you can’t be best at something if you try to be good at everything all the time. The same goes for, please everyone and you’d please no one, especially yourself!
2. Jeg må ingenting – I have to do nothing. I can relate to this more now after my baby was born. On New Year’s Eve, I slept until 23:58, only being woken up by the noise of fireworks outside. I decided to get up anyways to say Happy New Year to my husband who took over his baby watch shift that evening. Both of us were in our sweatpants and hoodies. We didn’t feel the need to follow the social trend, dressing up and celebrating new year like everyone else. This was how we celebrated 2020 and a new decade. Quiet time together, just us as a family. The key is to prioritize and focus on what are most important to you. You don’t have to try to do everything.
3. Lean out – Anita reminded in her book about leaning out at home, something that Sheryl Sandberg has also advocated. I found this easier said than done, especially after my baby was born. In the evening, my husband takes care of our baby so I could get some sleep. Even when I am lying in bed, I would wake up and react every time I hear my baby cry. My husband is doing a fantastic job and I cannot ask for more. It is me who needs to step back and relax, who needs to learn to lean out.

 

I’m looking for books about business and leadership to read in 2020. What are your recommendations?

 

My pregnancy journey so far

I am pregnant. At the time of writing this blog, I am soon entering into week 34. My shoulders and back ache. My hips hurt. I feel like a 70-year-old grandma penguin. I now move at a turtle pace. Turning from side to side while lying in bed or getting up and down from the couch is becoming difficult. I have to lean myself against the wall to come down to the floor to put the leash on my dog. It hasn’t been an easy journey.

We found out we were pregnant on 13th May 2019. I noted down that day because it was something new and special in our life. My first trimester wasn’t easy though. My body was filled with acnes. They itched. Some days I felt energetic. Other days were filled with nausea and fatigue. It was a roller coaster ride. I didn’t have any particular food craving but developed food aversion. I could not eat carrot or paprika. They just made me feel like I was going to throw up. I stopped drinking coffee and soda as well since they also made me nauseous (guess that was a good thing as my body tried to push me to become healthier!). I spent most of my free time lying in bed and had no motivation to do anything else. By week 12, I felt like I was pregnant for forever and couldn’t see how I could endure the next coming 28 weeks.

On 12th July 2019, my husband and I went to our first ultrasound. We did not do much research so did not know what to expect. We came in with an open mind. ‘What will be, will be”, we said to each other. On the screen, there was a tiny little creature who was stretching and moving his arms and legs. It was so surrealistic and magical. I couldn’t stop smiling. My day lightened up and all the annoying effects of being pregnant just disappeared. All I could think of was my due date. I looked forward to meeting our baby and snuggling with him.

Photo back in week 28

My second trimester was a bit better. The nausea slowly went away, so did the acnes. But new symptoms arrived: running nose, leg and stomach cramps. I got cramps in my stomach if I walked too fast or became stressed. At night when I was sleeping, my leg got cramped, usually one leg at a time, sometimes several times during the night. Nevertheless, I finally got more energy during the day to get things done and began planning for our new family member. And those baby kicks have become the highlight of my pregnancy, ensuring me that my baby is there and doing well. I don’t mind kicks, turns and twists at all, even though they could be uncomfortable and painful sometimes. As long as my baby is healthy and well, nothing else matters.

Now in the third trimester, things are becoming difficult again. The symptoms from my second trimester have dragged out. I don’t sleep well anymore, having to wake up due to stuffy nose and leg cramps. I guess this is a preparation for what to come: no sleep when the baby arrives. My daily workout regime has been slow yoga and light stretch. I miss the old, before-pregnancy me being able to do handstand, headstand, split, backbend and such. Now I feel heavy and immobile. I am really counting down the weeks.

I have to say I am lucky and grateful to have a loving and supporting husband who has been there for me. On Monday night, he ran to the fuel station to buy me some chocolate buns because I wanted to eat them. He has made my pregnancy easier. I don’t know how I would cope with those symptoms without him.

To those moms and soon-to-be moms out there, how do you cope with your pregnancy?

Sapiens: A provocative book that makes you rethink about humanity

“Interesting and provocative” is the quote you get from Barrack Obama on the cover of the book Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari. I could not agree more. The book is indeed provocative and makes you think and reflect upon the history of mankind and yourself as a human being.

Our world is shaped by our imagination

In order to cooperate in a large group, Homo sapiens creates imagined orders that everyone believes in: state, money, religion, democracy, capitalism. None of these exists in nature. All of these ideologies and concepts are taught and imbedded in our thoughts from the day we were born.

«You could never convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising him limitless bananas after death in monkey heaven.»

Without these imagined orders, Homo sapiens would not be able to cooperate with each other and the imagined society it tries to develop and maintain would collapse. You could trace this back to civil wars that have happened throughout history. Take Yemen, a country that has been locked in a civil war since 2011. It all started with a loss of belief in the government, the existing imagined order, and a growing belief in creating a new and better imagined order by a group of people.

These imagined orders are what made us humans. They have given us both triumphs and defeats. They gave us the greatest inventions, civilizations, cultures and history but also brought us war, despair and misery.

We are never content

Following the Agricultural Revolution, human beings began to settle down permanently and abandon the hunting-nomad life. Over time, we improve and develop new tools in pursuit of an easier life. We have invented countless devices to supposedly make our life easier: washing machines, dishwashers, phones, computers and so forth. These devices are meant to free our precious time so we can spend it doing something else, such as live a meaningful life, pursue our dreams, like those mindful and inspirational quotes would tell us. But we take these luxuries for granted. Our life has never been easier. We have become so dependent on our own inventions that we cannot imagine our lives without them.

When I was young, my family did not have any washing machine or dishwasher. We gathered water in a big pot, cooked half of it and then mixed with the other half to get warm water for a bath. We had a squat toilet. We had no Internet. I didn’t complain then. I don’t recall my childhood being unhappy with this lifestyle. Most of what I remember is playtime with my cat, dog and neighbors. Still, today, I cannot imagine living like back then. Every time I enter a new building, the first thing I wonder is “Is there any free Wi-Fi here?” I despise squat toilet. Even my mom who spent half of her life using squat toilet does not want to use it unless she has no other choice. But are we happier? I am not sure. We work harder in order to afford newer and better tools. And it is not just that. We are never content with what we have. With excess money, we began to buy bigger house, stack more luxurious tools and spend our free time on expensive vacations, as if our life is meaningless without them. Just like an ancient Egyptian pharaoh spent his wealth building pyramids, modern human beings use their money to consume various products and services, yet craving for even better products and services thus working harder to get more money to afford them. Our luxuries have become necessities.

After all, I am just another sapien who tries to build her own pyramid.

There are a few things I do not agree with the author. Harari claimed that the Agricultural Revolution was a mistake. It has left us being locked in a luxury trap, a vicious cycle in which we can never break free. He argued that our forager ancestors might have been happier and more content with their life. They owned very little possession, lived more in the moment and focused more on the current being.

Throughout the past few years, I have stopped focusing on having to purchase decorations to make my apartment more stylish, trendy clothes and accessories to make me look chic and cool. I have focused more on being in the present and felt more peaceful then. I do find that mindlessly scrolling through Facebook and Instagram on my phone makes me feel depressed because I then compare my life with the perfect life others portray on social media. Does that mean our forager ancestors were happier? We don’t know. All we know about them were bones, fossils and drawings found in cages. We don’t know how their societies were shaped and what they thought. Did they think they were happy? Were they satisfied with their life? A forage life was nevertheless hard: high child mortality, death in childbirth, and higher chances of being attacked by other animals and tribes, or stabbed to death by a fellow tribe member. The Agricultural Revolution did leave us with a longer life and our inventions have helped us combat diseases and illnesses that would have been deadly thousands of years ago. Had it not been for the Agricultural Revolution would Yuval Noah Harari not be here to write a book about Homo sapiens.

Homo sapiens is the dissatisfied and irresponsible animal that plays God

I agree with the author that we are a destructive species. We have caused extinctions of countless species and many more to come. We create gigantic farms, lock animals in tiny cage for mass food production. We build and expand cities without regard to nature and the environment. We create plastics as a solution for an easier life then mindlessly dump them into the forest and ocean after usage. We are on our way to create a new life form, artificial intelligence and can even resurrect the death: bringing back mammoth and Neanderthal. We may even find a way to combat all the deadly diseases and old age, ending up living forever. Whatever solutions we are working on, we are doing so irresponsibly. We take no accountability for our actions and disregard the impact we have on our planet.

If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend you to do so. Unless you are a fixed believer that your religion, state and way of life is the true one and only way, you would be offended and get nothing out of this book.

Vacation in Prague – Part 3

In this blog I will share with you my reviews about historical and cultural attractions. Read part 1 for reviews about AirBnB and restaurants and part 2 for reviews about modern museums.

Dancing House

Modern architecture in the midst of the Old Town. The two buildings resemble two people dancing, named Fred and Ginger by the locals. If you are interested in architecture, it may be worth a visit. I do not advise buying tickets to go to the top of the building for a city view. We did and thought it was a waste of money. The ticket would allow you to go to the top where there was a coffee shop and a balcony outside for you to view the river, Prague Castle and other sightseeing places. The place was overcrowded with people and did not give a worthwhile view of the city in our opinion. If you want a city view, walk up the hill towards Petrin Tower. You’d get a good walk plus fantastic view for free (except for if you want to enter the tower).

 

Beer Museum

http://beermuseum.cz/

The museum provides you with the history of beer, beer tasting and bottling your own beer experience. It is a fun trip for those interested in beer. For beer tasting, you’d get four large glasses of beer, explanation of the ingredients in each glass and information about in which order you should taste the beer. If you are not an avid beer drinker, it may be worth to buy only one ticket for beer tasting, as a ticket gives you four glasses, and share the beer among your travel companions.

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Klementinum

https://www.klementinum.com/en/

This is a guided tour that lasts around one hour and comprises of the Baroque library hall, Meridian hall, a unique room previously used for determining noon and Astronomical tower, a 68-meter high tower that presents you with a wonderful view of the historical center of Prague. Klementinum is a popular place. Be prepared that you would be a part of a large guided group. It is not possible to visit this place on your own which is rather annoying. Being part of the tour means you have to move with the group and the tour guide has limited time since he/she has to be back on time for the next tour. In addition, the library is off limit. You cannot take photos or walk inside. The tour guide we had only knew things she remembered from the script but not much of anything else related to the place’s history. I can’t tell you whether I’d recommend this place or not. The library was magnificent: grand and stunning architecture with thousands of historical books – it does deserve being called one of the most beautiful libraries on Earth. The tour, though, was disappointing.

 

Strahov Library

Another beautiful library located on top of the hill. From Charles Bridge it takes around 45 minutes to walk up or 25 minutes by public transport from National Theatre. This is a self-guided visit so you are free to spend as much time here as you’d like. In order to take photo, you have to buy a photo pass in addition to entrance ticket. I don’t understand why they do this. It makes me feel like they want to make as much money out of tourists as possible. There are two libraries and they are both beautiful and impressive. You cannot enter them, however. You can stand outside and take some photos. I could imagine Lara Croft on her quest for ancient treasures, sneaking her way in the library to find clues through books from hundreds of years ago. Or maybe she doesn’t need to sneak in. Since she’s a billionaire, she could probably arrange to have a private visit to the libraries.

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Overall Prague is a beautiful city. I wish we had more time to visit other places here. Perhaps next time.

Vacation in Prague – Part 2

In this blog I will share with you my reviews about modern museums we visited during our vacation in Prague. Read part 1 for reviews about AirBnB and restaurants.

Gallery of Steel Figures

http://www.galleryofsteelfigures.com/en/price-list-prague

We came across this place by chance when we were on our way to a restaurant for dinner. My husband is a fan of Star Wars and a welder, so this place was obviously appealing to him. All the steel figures here are made from scrap metal, many of which were meticulously made to details. We had a lot of fun there. I wish they would offer more information about the figures: how they were made, where the metal came from, who the artists were.

Lego Museum

http://www.muzeumlega.cz/

Supposedly this has the largest in the world in terms of size and number of exhibits, with over 3000 unique models. OK place to visit. You may find it interesting if you are a Lego fan. The building has very narrowed space that makes you feel suffocated. It is not suitable for a large group to visit at the same time. For me it was not a museum, more like a place with collections of different Lego models. There was no interactive part, except for a small playroom for kids. Neither was there any history about Lego or the models in display.

Museum of Senses

https://www.muzeumsmyslu.cz/en

After visiting Gallery of Steel Figures we received a coupon for discounted tickets at the Museum of Senses, the main reason why we visited this place. It offered us a lot of fun. Here you would find many interesting interactive exhibitions to test out. Beware this place may be very crowded. The museum is very small though with limited number of exhibitions. I was a bit disappointed as I was hoping for a larger exhibition. It took no more than 30 minutes to go through.

Here is my tips – I am not sure whether this deal still applies now but it was valid when were there in February 2019: Lego Museum gives discounted ticket to Gallery of Steel Figures which then gives discounted tickets to Museum of Senses. If you plan to visit all three when in Prague, start with the order above.

In my next blog, I will share you reviews about historical and cultural attractions.

Vacation in Prague – Part 1

In February I took a four-day vacation in Prague, Czech Republic with my husband and parents-in-law.

We stayed at an AirBnB apartment, which was located within walking distance from major attractions in Old Town. Our host Jan kindly showed us useful information about the city even though we did not really ask for it. His number one tip: Don’t take taxi. Use Uber! You could not trust taxis here and would probably end up being overcharged. Jan recommended two restaurants Slavia and Kantyna as well as Strahov library. You’ll find a more detailed review about these places below and in my next blog, together with other places we visited.

 

AirBnB apartment

It is a spacious two-bedroom apartment. Each bedroom has a king-size bed. The living room has a sofa that can be turned into a bed so the apartment can technically accommodate up to six people. Beware that there is only one toilet and one bad. It may not be convenient for six people though, especially in the morning when you get up and there is a long queue for the toilet! Otherwise, the apartment was great. Centrally located, walking distance to many attractions, close to trams and buses.

Here is the link to the apartment on AirBnB: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/18579038

 

Restaurant

Café Slavia: https://www.cafeslavia.cz/en/menu-en/#ceska

This place supposedly offers you a nice river view if you get a table by the window. We came there for lunch at 13:00 and all of the window tables were occupied. The café is centrally located with National Theater, Charles Bridge and Prague Castle in sight so there is no surprise about its high prices. The service was good. Our waiter was friendly and helpful. The food was OK, not that impressive, to the point that I did not even remember what I ate. At the time of writing this blog, I almost forgot that we ate lunch there and had to check the website to see what I did actually order. It was beef goulash with variation of Czech dumplings. Czech dumplings are nowhere similar to Chinese dumplings (meat/veggies wrapped in flour), or even Hungarian dumplings (close to macaroni). They are kind of bread-like, made from flour, egg, yeast, sugar and salt. The dish I ordered had three different types of dumplings, each with its own taste. Overall, the food here was not something that would totally amaze you, in my opinion. I did not take any photos of the food or restaurant here, so you can tell how enthusiastic I was in documenting this experience. My mother-in-law ordered ‘Confit duck stomach on bacon and thyme’, which both of us agreed was a more interesting dish. If you ever eat here, I’d recommend you to go for that dish. We did also order a cheesecake for dessert. Our unanimous conclusion was that our homemade cheesecake was better. I would share with you our cheesecake venture in another blog – we have been testing different recipes at home as well as in restaurants and cafes to see where we can get the best cheesecake! (P.S if you know where we can get the best cheesecake, let me know).

 

Kantyna: https://www.kantyna.ambi.cz/en/

This is probably the highlight of our trip when it comes to food. It does not appear on the top recommended list of restaurants for tourists so we would most likely not find it if our AirBnB did not mention this place. We arrived there on Wednesday evening for dinner but the place was fully packed. We were told that it would take 30 minutes to wait for the next available seating or even a standing place. What I could see was there seemed to be many locals, dressed in business suits, perhaps out for dinner and drinks with friends and colleagues after work. The kind of place that I like when I travel: where the locals eat, not where the tourists eat.

We decided to come back the next day for lunch. Kantyna is a butcher place and literally a ‘canteen’. You take your tray, order food by the kitchen counter and pay for the amount of food you take. My husband and I shared a tray, as there was a lot of heavy food. For meat lovers, Kantyna is definitely a place you should visit. I’d recommend coming there for lunch since the restaurant is less busy. In the evening, you should definitely book a table.

That’s it for now. Follow my next blog for more reviews about Prague.

What are some factors that limit your flexibility?

In Norwegian: Hva kan forhindre din fleksibilitet? Scroll ned for å lese på norsk. 

What are some factors that limit your flexibility? Injury is one of them for sure. This is me trying to get my needle scale. I’m having an injury in my left shoulder tendon. My left shoulder has lost its mobility and strength significantly. I could not extend my shoulder to reach my foot behind my back. Even a side plank on my left side is difficult to perform. So for now, most of my trainings have been rehab – building up the strength and mobility again.

Other factors that could limit your flexibility include:

• Joint structure
• Muscles
• Age
• Gender
• Temperature in the environment and body
• Sickness
• Your daily activities
• Stress

If you are struggling with improving your flexibility, it’ll help to understand these factors above and adjust your practice. I’ve written a more detailed explanation of these factors in Pole in Style blog. Check it out: https://www.poleinstyle.com/blogs/news/factors-limit-flexibility

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På norsk

Hva kan forhindre din fleksibilitet?

• Leddtyper: Skulder-og-hofteleddene har den høyeste mobiliteten i kroppen mens albue-og-kneleddene er ikke like fleksible. Noen har hypermobile ledd som gjør at flere eller mange ledd kan bøyes/strekkes mer enn det som anses å være normalt, mens andre har hypomobile ledd, en tilstand som er motsatt av hypermobilitet. 
• Muskler: Større muskelvolum fører til mindre mobilitet. F.eks. det er vanskeligere å gjøre en forward bend med store hamstrings. Stivhet og svakhet i muskler kan føre til mindre fleksibilitet. 
• Alder: Med økende alder øker også stivheten i kroppens bløtdeler. Dette skyldes blant annet at antall krysskoblinger i bindevevet øker, noe som medfører at bindevevet ikke kan tøyes ut like lett. En annen grunn er at vi blir mindre aktive når vi blir eldre.
• Kjønn: Kvinner er ofte mer bevegelige enn menn. En grunn til dette er anatomiske forskjeller, slik som skjelettets utseende og muskelvolumet.
• Skader eller sykdommer i bevegelsesapparatet: Skadet ledd og muskler vil ha mindre fleksibilitet.
• Temperaturen i omgivelsene og kroppstemperaturen: Bindevevet blir mindre elastisk ved lave temperaturer, og skades da også lettere når det strekkes. Derfor er oppvarming viktig. Leddene og musklene er mer elastisk når kroppens temperatur er 1 til 2 grader høyere enn normalt.
• Personens bevegelsmønster og aktivitetsgrad: Kroppen tilpasser seg de kravene som stilles, og hvis en person er helt inaktiv, vil kroppen tilpasse bevegelseomfanget etter dette. Det betyr at bindevevets evne til å strekkes blir redusert.
• Stress: Ved stress øker mengde stresshormoner i kroppen. Dette fører til økt muskelspenning.

Det hjelper å forstå hva kan forhindre din fleksibilitet slik at du kan tilpasse din trening. Har du noen spørsmål? Ønsker du tips med fleksibilitetstrening? Ta kontakt da vel :).

To be a woman means I’ll never be good enough

On Monday evening while we were watching TV, a commercial about facial hair remover lipstick came up. It claimed that the product worked immediately, caused no pain and would leave your skin flawless and shining. It showed many women who had tested the product as examples and their skin before and after the test. I have never used such product so I cannot tell you whether it works or not, but one can know for sure it has no permanent effect. The facial hair will eventually grow back and you will have to continue using it, perhaps buy additional accessories, upgrade with a more advanced technology and spend even more money in order to maintain your flawless skin, as your natural skin isn’t GOOD enough. Thousands of women would probably throw their money at these beauty products every year to achieve that flawless beauty they have longed for.

There is no such product advertised towards men.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it exists somewhere and I have not seen it yet. If you have seen one, let me know.

Women are told to apply moisturizer and lotion to keep their skin soft and radiant, foundation, concealer, powder, blushes and highlighters (you name it!) to cover their blemishes, acnes, wrinkles, those dark circles around their eyes. Not just that, there are different products for different occasions: work, party, vacation, birthday, wedding, whatever occasion you can come up with. You are welcome to apply as much makeup as possible, to the point that you don’t recognize yourself anymore. That is fine because who wants to see you as your natural self anyways! Take those celebrities whom you would not recognize and consider UGLY without makeup. It is not just our face that is full of flaws. It is also the skin on our body, which needs to be soft and cellulite-free. Our hair needs to be smooth as silk. Even our nails need to be polished. As a woman, I have been told since my birth that I am full of flaws. Society will never fully accept us. Did you also notice many of these beauty products come with the word ‘flawless’ in their description? Google ‘flawless’ and see what comes up in your search results (check the images as well)! Perhaps this is the reason why girls have less confident than boys, a trait that is visible already from a young age¹.

You don’t see commercials on TV telling men they should polish their nails or use facial hair remover lipstick to make their skin shinning and flawless.

The global cosmetics market is growing every year, with a compounded annual growth rate between 4-5%, reaching $432 in value by 2022². In a consumer research in 2017, 71% answered that cosmetics played an important part of their daily lives. 80% considered cosmetics important in building up self-esteem³. So is it a demand-driven industry? I think it goes both ways. Consumers are driving up demand by forever living up to the beauty standard. Corporations push supply by providing consumers with solutions to help them meet the standard and more. It is a vicious cycle we are stuck in. We’d pay to apply chemicals on our body. Don’t forget that the industry is contributing to environmental damages: think about those nice plastics wraps and packaging these products come with, not to mention animal testing.

Ironically, the biggest beauty & cosmetics corporations are led by men:

• L’Oreal: Jean Paul Agon
• Estee Lauder: Fabrizio Freda
• Coty: Pierre Laubies
• Shiseido: Masahiko Uotani
• LVMH: Bernald Arnault

These companies come messages telling women that we need to buy their products to be flawless. Can we say it is actually men running these companies and dictating how women should perceive themselves? I don’t know. If you look at commercials and ads, it is actually women sending messages to other women: female celebrities and models giving tips on makeup and beauty so you can be as pretty as them. We’d call it women empowering women, helping each other become more confident. If there were an ad with a man telling women how to hide their flaws, it would probably spark a controversy. Many would get offended, labeling that ad anti-feminist and subsequently advising people to ignore that ad and believe in themselves. The world is full of contradictions. Perhaps we are hypocrites after all.

I have keloid scars, a condition that I inherit from my dad. As of today, there has not been any clinically proven treatment to heal them. Many in my immediate family, females, tell me to cover them because they make me look ugly. At one point, they bombarded me with tips on treatments and urged me to try those treatments. Nobody ever told my dad to hide those scars or treat them. I have also not received such ‘beauty tips’ from men. Perhaps it is because men are taught not to care about such flaws. Or perhaps it is deemed as inappropriate for men to offer women such advices. Over the years, I have lived with shame of my scars. I hate them and even hate myself and my own DNA for inheriting such things. I cannot look at them in the mirror. I don’t know if I can ever get over it. If women are offering beauty tips to help other women become more confident, why does it make me feel worse about myself?

Back to the fact that the largest cosmetics companies are led by men: It is understandable. For so long men have dominated leadership positions⁴. Women are only beginning to fight back for a seat at the board table. Perhaps the industry will change in the future and be led by women. Would it then be better? Or would men be dragged into this never-ending beauty contest eventually? Makeup for men is a growing trend⁵. Would they be introduced to the concept ‘flawless’, a concept that is mentioned so often that it would embed deeply in their sub-consciousness?

In celebration of International Women’s Day, I’d like to point out: How can we ever have self-confidence, raise our own voice and stand up for ourselves if deep down we cannot even accept ourselves?

 

Sources: 

¹ Teen Girls Are Less Confident than Boys & It’s Affecting Their Futures. https://www.ypulse.com/post/view/teen-girls-are-less-confident-than-boys-its-affecting-their-futures

² Cosmetics Market by Category. Allied Market Research. https://www.alliedmarketresearch.com/cosmetics-market

³ Consumer Insights 2017. Cosmetics Europe. https://www.cosmeticseurope.eu/files/6114/9738/2777/CE_Consumer_Insights_2017.pdf

⁴ Key findings from the Women in the Workplace 2018 report. Lean In. https://leanin.org/women-in-the-workplace

⁵ Makeup is changing the meaning of masculinity. Vivian Jones, 2018.

https://edition.cnn.com/2018/03/14/health/makeup-skincare-male-masculinity-intl/index.html

A trip to Bergen

In January 2019, we travelled to Bergen, a city located on the West coast of Norway. We started the trip with a 6-hour train ride from Oslo. If you really want to see Norway’s beautiful nature and landscape, you must include the train ride in your list.

The first part can be boring as the train only passes through Oslo’s suburbs but once you exit Drammen, a city located two hours away from Oslo, everything gets more exciting.

 

Once you pass Geilo, Norway’s skiing town, things become more spectacular: the vast mountain range buried deep in never ending snow, lakes covering in ice.

Train ride to Bergen

Train ride to Bergen

My tip for the train: bring food and snack with you (food on the train is expensive!), also a good book to read, music to listen to or movie to watch. The train has free Wifi but it doesn’t always work. I would not recommend a four-seat place with table in the middle, unless you travel in a group of four. Otherwise, you are stuck with strangers sitting in front of you for many hours, unless if you don’t mind socializing and mingling, assuming your neighbors are also interested in conversations.

In Bergen, we stayed at an AirBnB that was ten-minute walk away from the train station. At the Fish Market and Bryggen, you will find charming streets and narrow alleyways filled with small old wooden houses, some of which dated back to the 18^th century.

We ate dinner at Bryggeloftet & Stuene, a family-owned restaurant serving local food since 1910.

Bryggeloftet & Stuene

Bryggeloftet & Stuene

 

We also took the Fløibanen train up the mountain which offered you a view of the entire city. You can then hike further into the mountain. There is a ski track up there for those who enjoy this winter sport.

Bergen is a charming city full of history and beautiful nature. No wonder why people there are so proud of their city. In Norway we have a joke about this: If you meet a Bergenese outside of Norway and ask where he comes from, he wouldn’t say he is from Norway. He’d say he’s from Bergen.

Train like a model: My two-week transformation

*Ønsker du å lese innlegget på norsk? Abonner nå på mitt nyhetsbrev.*

This year I started a new project which experimented what it was like to train like a supermodel. The reason I started this was because I’ve met so many girls who want long lean legs and a flat stomach, wishing that their bodies would look like those gorgeous models in commercials and fashion magazines. I think any girl, at some point, would feel bad about their body and secretly wish that it would look different – Me included.

This is my two-week progress so far. I intend to continue with this experiment four more weeks to see how it goes. Victoria’s Secret models are supposed to have only body fat percentage of 18% and a waistline no more than 60 cm (!). I want to test how much I can endure in order to get that body, or whether it is possible at all. It is not just a physical experiment but also a psychological one.

Day 1: 7th January 2019

• Body fat percentage: around 22% – I used a caliper to measure my body fat
• Waist: 68 cm
• Thigh – the top and largest part: 55 cm
• Weight: 47.5 kg

Day 15: 22nd January 2019

• Body fat percentage: around 20.9%
• Waist: 65 cm
• Thigh – the top and largest part: 54 cm
• Weight: 46.2 kg

I’ve used a combination of exercises from John Benton, Kayla Itsines and Joja, in addition to my normal fitness regime: Crossfit, Barry’s Bootcamp, a bit of pole dance, yoga and stretching. I exercise daily, from 20 minutes to 1.5 hours. I’d like to also point out that I move a lot on a daily basis. The amount of time I’ve spent sitting is between 5-6 hours. Sleep is somewhere between 7-9 hours. The rest of the time in the day is with some sort of movement.

For diet, I’ve reduced substantially intake of soda and snacks, down to almost zero. No alcohol, in fact I haven’t consumed alcohol for many months. Otherwise, I’ve just kept my normal diet: lots of varieties, mostly homemade food with fresh ingredients, avoiding processed food. I used to snack some cookies and drink a small soda whenever I felt stressed, bored or tired. The first few days of this experiment were hard as my body was craving crazily for that energy boost from cookies and soda as well as the sweet taste in the mouth. Over time, those craving feelings fade away and now, I have no craving for those things at all.

Psychologically, it has been exhausting and stressful. I went from working out 2-3 times per week to daily and had to schedule my daily activity to squeeze in a workout and plan what to eat. It may be easy if you get paid for working out and eating right, plus if you don’t have to worry about cleaning your houses, doing laundry, buying groceries, paying bills, etc. If you have a full-time job and house/family to take care of, this is really challenging. I can’t tell you if I’d been happier during these two weeks or not. I’m glad that the workout and diet seems to be working though.

In the next few weeks, I’ll share with you my workout exercises and diet.

*Note: I am not claiming it is healthy to have a model body or anything like that. This is just my personal experiment.